> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://things-i-never-said.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Things I Miss Since Having Kids - URL: https://things-i-never-said.ghost.io/things-i-miss-since-having-kids/ - Published: 2026-09-24T09:00:01.000Z - Updated: 2026-09-24T09:00:03.000Z - Description: The things I miss since having kids: toothpaste-free sinks, untouched biscuit barrels, a TV remote that actually lives where it belongs, and knowing exactly who made the mess. Just a few everyday reminders that my peaceful, uncomplicated life is now officially a distant memory. - Author: Shannon Brookes - Tags: Ramblings, Mum-Life, Funny-Parenting, Everyday-Chaos, Mum, Teenagers I used to live a simple life. I could wake in the morning, grab a brew and a slice of toast, flick the radio on and dance about as I got dressed for work. I could come and go as I pleased, and **ALL my money was mine.** Then I had kids. So, here are just a few things I truly miss — and what they have now been replaced with. ### **The Toothpaste – How I long for my once ‘gloop-free’ life!** We’ve tried them all. Flip caps. Screw tops. Those really smart, standy-up ones where you push the top and a little slither of toothpaste comes out. It doesn’t matter which one I buy, it still finds its way onto the sink, taps, plug hole… the little glass that we stand the toothbrushes up in, even the **bloody toilet seat.** Seriously, it’s like they get bored halfway through brushing their pearly whites and start painting the sodding walls with it. ### **The Family Pets – I wouldn’t swap them. The kids… maybe!** They swear blind they’ll look after them. They promise to always be there for them, love them, play with them, feed them, walk them… That is, until they take a huge steaming dump (the dogs that is) and they have to pick it up. You have never seen anyone out-act these teens. “The dog’s done a whoopsie,” you say? “Well, I just don’t believe it. I didn’t see a thing.” All of a sudden, they’re terribly upper class and their dog simply **cannot possibly be so disgusting as to defecate.** Silly me. I must be mistaken. **KIDS!** ### **The Biscuit Barrel – Just one is all I ask.** I figured I should start small. For those of you with toddlers… it’s all heading your way. I know it’s petty and perhaps, at the ripe old age of 36, I should have learned how to share, but I am sick to death of bounding excitedly to the cupboard only to be presented with mere crumbs! I’ve even started buying biscuits that I am certain they don’t like and **STILL there’s none left.** I just want a fucking biscuit. Is it too much to ask? ### **The TV Remote – Since when did it live under the sofa?** It’s rare that I get full control of the TV as it is. When I do get the odd hour here and there, I first have to mount a full-blown **search and rescue mission** to find the bloody remote. Perhaps laziness plays a part. I mean, I could just walk over to the telly and do it from there. It’s not an issue until the adverts suddenly blare out at twice the volume and I shit my pants. Gone are the days when it lived peacefully on the coffee table, alongside one mug of tea and a **FULL barrel of biscuits.** ### **Knowing Whose Fault It Is – “It Wasn’t Me!”** Before I had children, if I ran out of milk — I had drunk the last of it. If my laundry got dyed pink — it was me who left the red sock in the washing machine. If there was a kitchen full of dishes — it was me who was too sodding lazy to do them. I always knew who to blame. Since having the three little slobs that currently reside in my house, I never have a clue whose mess is whose. They’ll all bat their lashes and look at me with those sorrowful, puppy-dog eyes, and I’m somehow expected to forget that I now have to clean an entire house before Nanny comes to visit and pulls a **Kim and Aggy** on my arse. There are many more to add to the list, but as I sit here typing, I can see the mess of the living room forming before my eyes. If I don’t get a handle on it soon, I’ll be knee-deep in teenage slovenliness, with no idea how the hell I’m going to escape. And I suppose that’s another thing I miss. **A clean fucking house.** ***Apparently, having kids means losing your stuff, your money and your fucking biscuits.*** *If you’re still here, you might as well have another nose around.* [**More Ramblings**](https://things-i-never-said.ghost.io/who-do-you-share-your-naughty-side-with/) *Because apparently I have more things to complain about.* [**Keep reading Shannon's words →**](https://things-i-never-said.ghost.io/) *Thanks for reading.* *— Shannon x*